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Here it goes again…

Looks like Bungie’s done it again; they’ve cranked out another Halo title, dubbing this one “Halo 3: ODST,” which is short for “Orbital Drop Shock Trooper.” Its all over twitter, IGN, and every game site ever. I personally LOVE it when Bungie releases a new game for Xbox, because I, as one of the few who don’t own an Xbox, get to bash the game to bits based on advertising, public appearance, trailers, and whatever dirt I can dig up on it. This is not a review, mind you. This is just me being absolutely mean to a company that likes to beat dead horses for so long that they might as well be beating a bag of decomposing manure.

<rant>

Ok. I’ve seen the “GROUNDBREAKING TRAILER!” everyone is talking about. It involves a metropolan city being bombarded by what look like mechanical asteroids, shortly followed by a thunderstorm and several thousand search parties. At this point, an asteroid opens up, some guy gets out and looks heroic, and then runs into the shadows as aliens march by, apparently incredibly focused on maintaining exactly 3 feet apart from each other, while still trying to appear haphazard.

And here’s the best part; according to the site…

You are an Orbital Drop Shock Trooper. Your orders: Stay alive, meet up with your scattered squad, and escape the embattled city.

So… why were you launched into the city in the first place? I mean, hell, whoever launched you would have been better off just substituting those neat little drop pods for giant rocks and obliterating half the city. And there were hundreds of those stupid pods. I’m to believe that once you land, randomly, in a city, you’re to find your way to a select GROUP of these troopers? I can almost imagine running into another human in all the rubble… “Hey, sup. You from Bravo squad? No? A’ight, cool. Cya.” And why would the omnipotent, god-like leader of the “marines” choose to launch people into a city, only to tell them to ‘rough it out until you can sneak out quietly”?

The city, according to the site, was taken over by aliens- sorry, i meant “Covenant forces” some time ago, and you’re eventually supposed to reclaim the city (which you already pretty much totaled by launching hundreds of large asteroids into the city). But… isn’t that almost exactly like every other mission in any other Halo game? You’re either destroying aliens on THEIR planets or on ours. I really wish Bungie would stop beating the crap out of the dead Halo horse long enough to think of a better idea. Yeah, sure, Halo 1 was epic, Halo 2 added some more stuff on, and Halo 3, while refusing to make the computer players any less pants-on-head retarded, was actually quite fun. But its nothing new. At all. I know Bungie is trying to secretly hype up their new ‘project,’ Halo: Reach, but as of right now, the trailer consists of earth being blown to bits. Or something along those lines at least.

Overall, don’t expect me to praise a game I haven’t played, but don’t expect me to like it if the things you’ve been jamming down my throat are monotonous and status-quo. Sorry, Bungie, but this game seems to be something I won’t really appreciate until I end up at the house of a Halo fanboy (which, I can’t say will be much fun either, because he’ll already be good at the game while I’m still getting my feet wet).

</rant>

Sorry about that Bungie… I just have to do that from time to time to vent off some steam. I’m sure if I had an Xbox I’d be as addicted as everyone else.