Thanks to a combination of a shitty platform and horrible foresight, there is a ridiculously easy way to get massive amounts of people to visit websites outside facebook.
No, I just like to say things like that. Yes, really. Alright, you sit down at your computer, open your browser, and start up facebook. Facebook, in turn, hurls all its updates into your lap. One, towards the top, looks like this:
Yes, you ALL have liked something like this before.
You think, “Durr, mee two.” and, ignoring a rule about commas instead of periods within quotation marks, you click “like” without even looking at the page. SO, later on, someone else sees that you’ve liked this “page” and clicks like. It’s a ripple effect. We’ve all seen it. Thats why, in the early days of Facebook, groups like “THE SN0WBALL EFFECT! INVITE ALL UR FRIENDS!” got so popular. So, this keeps on going and going and going until this group has amassed something of a following.
Why do you people like things like this?
Later, you go back and click on the link to that page. You aren’t taken to a facebook page, but instead to some obscure spam page, or a 404 error page, or some extremely shady site about Paypal and Nigerian bank accounts. “Well, damn.” you think. “Not only can I not use punctuation at the end of quotes correctly, but I also seem to have joined a fake Facebook group. How in tarnation did that happen?” Best yet, because the page doesn’t have a real PAGE, you can’t exactly “unlike” it. To unlike pages, I usually just go to them, scroll down a whole bunch, and hit “unlike.” That usually does it for me.
In order to make a page that is “like-able” on facebook, you simply need to add this neat little snippet to your webpage:
frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden;
This will add a nice little “like this” field to your page, and include the number of people who like said page. Here, I made a page for you to look at. It redirects to my blog’s homepage in 15 seconds in case you forgot how to get back to it.
How to make people click.
If you clicked “like,” that’s very kind of you. You may have noticed that it says that you have become a fan of the page “HOW TO GET TONS OF FANS ON FACEBOOK” or something like that. This is so that people like you will click the link and give people like me internet reputation, albeit in a less-than-honest way. To get it to look like your facebook group is something retardedly popular, just add these two META tags to your page between your page’s HEAD tags, like this:
<meta property="og:title" content="HOW TO GET TONS OF FANS ON FACEBOOK!"/>
<meta property="og:site_name" content="HOW TO GET TONS OF FANS ON FACEBOOK!"/>
What do I get to do now?
Here’s the fun part. Well, for me at least. Not so much for my fans. Apart from the fact that I can drive traffic from facebook to my website, I can also edit ANYTHING on my fake fan page, like those meta tags above. Because I can change these meta tags, I can also change the title of this group/page thing. That means, I can make a title of a really, really popular group like “JUSTIN BIEBER LIKES MEN,” or “I HATE THESE LONG FACEBOOK GROUPS,” or even “THIS WILL TOTALLY MAKE YOU SUFFOCATE TO DEATH NO LIE DON’T JOIN,” and then, when people least expect it, change it to something obscenely racist, stereotypical, or opinionated, like “GINGERS HAVE NO SOULS,” “THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE FRICKIN’ SWEET, DESPITE THEIR BILLION YEAR LOSING STREAK” or “MACS CAN GO SUCK EGGS.” In this way, it’s almost like I’m commanding the opinions of thousands without really even trying. Hey, maybe I should sell ad-space once I get a group large enough, right?
Total credit goes to Simplaza.net for getting me interested in this exploit, and for explaining how it works. Check out his fake page here.
This is probably more obvious than anything else, as it’s whole idea is to be obvious (huh?). Another simple exploit has been circulating around, and it doesn’t take a moron to figure it out. If you want to draw tons of attention to yourself, be obnoxious, and get a lot of other obnoxious fans, you can make the title of your facebook page something REALLY REALLY LONG. A popular one is “PI = [24000 digits of pi]. I mean, I’d hope facebook would be prudent enough to patch this (something like changing “REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LONG” to “REALLY REALLY… [more]” would do nicely) sooner rather than later. Then again, facebook is rather pre-occupied with making all of its users vomit all of their photos out into the public by accident, so I’m skeptical. ” Some guy named PyroHawk seems to be pioneering this new and improved version of obnoxious-ness, with ten – count em, TEN – spam facebook pages. View them all here.