TF2: How to get a golden wrench?

I needed a place to put all the ideas about the new TF2 Update, and so I thought what better place than a blog post?

If you want to get a Golden Wrench, stay posted. I’ll be posting ideas (tested and otherwise) here.

Update: 7/8

Apparently, as a commenter mentioned before (sorry for thinking you were wrong), there is a pattern to how these golden wrench drops work. Thanks to Drunken F00l, the guy who made the out-of-game item management system, a list of times (still unreleased) for wrench drops was leaked. At these times, the first person to craft an item would get a golden wrench. So, the drops were a little less random than Valve would have liked us to think. Drunken F00l actually used this script to get himself a golden wrench, was caught, and then banned from the Valve network. He has plenty of other accounts to play on, but he had a custom Steam Community spy knife that he has since lost. Ouch. Thanks for the work anyways, Drunken Fool.

Forum here.

Check the update page?

If you look closely at the images taped to the Engineer’s wall on the update page, you’ll see a ton of hints to other weapons, like “Broadswords” (obviously the Demoman’s Eyelander), not to mention countless articles referring to stashes of gold being found.

Perhaps the update page has information to hold. Check it out here or visit
http://teamfortress.com/engineerupdate

BUT THERE’S MORE. The blueprint on the update page covers more taped-up information. To see the page in it’s entirety, click here or visit
http://teamfortress.com/engineerupdate/v00.php

Golden… Tickets?

There’s a rumor that “in Willie Wonka, one found a golden ticket in chocolate bars, so shouldn’t the same happen for TF2?” That’s pretty far-fetched. Granted, Valve is far-fetched, so it makes perfect sense. I’m not sure how you’d do that, though. Crafting 2 chocolate bars together? Remember, you shouldn’t be able to get a golden wrench from any previous combination, so that should narrow things down.

Monkeynauts?

The monkey sent into space, referenced quite often in the Engineer Update Page, was sent into space with “A giant sword, a pickax, and a bugle.”

Tried and Tested:

  • Chocolate + Chocolate = Scrapmetal
  • Chocolate + Chocolate + Chocolate = Class Token. Duhr.
  • Chocolate + Eyelander = Nothing. Boo.
  • Cloak and Dagger + Eyelander + Equalizer = Nothing. Not sure why I tried that.
  • Eyelander + Equalizer + Buff Banner = Nothing.

Update: No pattern. Boo.

I probably should have seen this coming, but there appears to be no real pattern to getting these wrenches. It’s totally random. You just have to craft a bunch of times and see what you get.  Apparently, your chance of getting a wrench are something like 1 in 2.63 MILLION. But there’s still that odd. Also, standard drop rates have increased a lot.